Blog

It's been two weeks since I've arrived in Germany for my exchange year. Within a couple of days I felt like I'd been apart of my host family for my whole life. I get excited to wake up every morning just to have breakfast with everyone. Back home it's completely different. We don't hug or kiss eachother, our meals are eaten alone, and everyone is usually confined to their bedroom. It has been a huge, but welcome change here. It feels a bit weird though, like I'm living some other life parallel to mine and everything is different but it's comforting in a way... A fresh start I guess. Meow.

When I signed up for this program, I thought about what it would be like to live and integrate with a new family. Nothing could have prepared me for how different it would be to what I had expected. My host mom calls me her daughter and treats me like her own. My host dad and I are getting closer perhaps slower but I love him more everyday. My host sisters are so silly and they almost make me wish I had grown up with sisters instead of brothers! We all seem to have the same sense of humor, which is something I value closely. I cannot fathom how much I will miss their presence when I inevitabley leave next July, and it's only been 2 weeks!!

Some days at school are difficult and the classes drag on forever, but I am very grateful that I had a girl, Suzan, show me around the school and introduce me to her friends. With my new schedule I have classes that I can participate in like English, Art, and French... And Sports, which makes me want to drop dead but it's still cool I guess!! As for my German skills, being here has made me realize how much I know. Don't get me wrong, I cannot understand a single thing in the harder subjects like Math and Physics, or when my friends are talking fast to eachother, but I am improving every day. I feel strangely calm about how absolutely lost I am on the daily. I really expected to be super jetlagged, homesick, overwhelmed, and anxious about everything. I hope I'm not jinxing it, but seriously! I have just been going with the flow and it's been working out perfectly so far. I don't feel stressed about school. The very first day I slept in my new room was difficult, but I was so exhausted that even my insomnia couldn't keep me awake. After that, all was fine.

Wednesday night was the first time I cried since I was here. Which really sounds like it contradicts my last paragraph, but I wasn't missing home or anything. Maybe I was on a subconcious level? My mother had called me from California and she hasn't been doing so great since I left. I feel like I'm betraying her by leaving her and joining this new family where I seem to fit in better than with my actual family. Anyway, at the end of our call she said I love you and I didn't say it back well because I never do but it just felt extra bad this time.

The program I'm exchanging with seems intent on putting as many things on our schedule as possible. A few volunteers came to our house last week, we had a dinner thursday night, and last night on Saturday I spent the entire day cooking a meal with the other local exchange students (which I enjoyed even if it drained every ounce of energy I had in me) And it's not just me that has to participate in all of this! My host family has been dragged into each of these events, and there are still more upcoming!! That is probably my only issue with my exchange so far. So essentially, I love it here and I will absolutely refuse to leave at the end of this. Sorry not sorry!!!